My Eurovision review

The semi...

Bulgaria
A number of 'mood music' pieces in the contest. This one is rhythmic, with a lot of electronics and the vocal used more as part of the whole than following a melody. Its haunting but I'm not sure if it will be remembered after 28 songs have passed by.

Israel
The incongruity of these lyrics has not been missed. One can only hope for a much deserved 0 points and perhaps a Lebanese entry instead next year? It couldn't be worse than this. Garbage.

Cyprus
This has been a fan fave since the outset, but it leaves me totally cold. Sung in French, its a very boring and predictable disco track. I hope it will go the same way as Kate Ryan and Xandee who have entered similar tedium and have not done well. The worst Cypriot entry for many years.

Belarus
Well...if you can't beat 'em, copy 'em. This is a thinly disguised copy of last years Russian entry only its not such a good song and he doesn't have such a good voice. And you wouldn't want him to come and do the plumbing. Uninspiring

Iceland
This is one of those stadium rock type ballads. I don't like the lead singer's voice and its all a bit overblown and lugubrious. Not a bad song, but the way its presented is another matter.

Georgia
Their national final saw the singer dressed in something resembling a blancmange. Musically, this is one of the most unusual entries . Think a Caucasian Bjork. I think this is brilliant but to try and describe what this actually sounds like isn't easy. Love the voice and the whole dramatic feel of this. If this doesn't qualify there's no justice!

Montenegro
Another very loud rock song. Largely tuneless and unremarkable. Dated, too.

Switzerland
The opening is OK but then it turns into another slightly silly entry. If it wasn't about vampires, would it be remembered? I doubt it. Also, it reminds me of something else although I can't put my finger on what. Take On Me?However, musically, its not as bad as i thought it might be...

Moldova
Another rock-influenced entry - of which there are a few this year. This actually isn't bad - I like the verses, but the chorus and the choppy guitars spoil it for me.

Netherlands
Edsilia is a great singer and she will sing this well - but there's only so much you can do with a turkey of a song like this one. It screams 'average'. A pity - as she could have pit in anything else from her album and it would have been better.

Albania.
This is a curious song. The latest version is certainly more acceptable than the original, but its still a doomy, deathly slow ballad with little in the way of a tune. I often like depressing Balkan ballads but this isn't a good example. It hasn't really been improved by a translation into English. Given the quality of the semi its actually in my top 10 nonetheless...

Denmark
This is the sort of music I recall from gay clubs in the 1980's. Old-fashioned hi-NRG. Very dated, but its catchy and cheerful and in a semi with so much which is simply forgettable, I'd imagine it will qualify. Very memorable chorus.

Croatia
Midtempo rock : forgettable and boring. Hard to say very much more.

Poland
A bit of a surprise from Poland - this is a reasonably authentic stab at a contemporary R&B/dance track - think Beyonce - and although its three songs in one, their performance was really impressive in their NF. Might qualify as it is that bit different.

Serbia
One day - I hope - a ballad will win again, and this just might be the one. This is great stuff - dramatic with a real tune! My third joint favourite.


Czech Republic
Their first entry. Its heavy rock. Lordi without the masks. I find it hard to comment. I hate heavy rock

Portugal
This is the best Latin in this years contest - its really cute and sweet, and deserves to qualify. I really like the use of the brass instruments in the chorus. Good stuff!

FYROM
Dramatic stuff with a big chorus and slightly syncopated rhythm - again more of a mood music piece than anything else. Well sung and has a slinky feel about the verse which the chorus rather loses - shame. Still a good entry.

Norway
This years attempt by Scandis to do Latin belongs to Norway. This is Latin done cabaret schlager style. As erzatz as you can imagine, down to the castanets. One way trip to next years semi, I trust. Dire.

Malta
Olivia Lewis has been trying for so long, that its a real shame that she has to enter with this cacophonous mess of a song. Pure earache from start to finish.

Andorra
So we have the Andorran version of Blink or Busted. I just don't like this sort of music. Its very loud and fast and has huge Jemini potential for a lousy performance. Cheap and derivative

Hungary
Good to see a country entering something genuinely good which would stand up musically outside the contest. This is a bluesy, soulful ballad in the Amy Winehouse mould and with a good performance, could do well (particularly given the pace of the semi entrants - this is one of the few ballads)

Estonia
See Croatia. I can't believe that such a nothing piece of averageness will get anything more than a handful of votes. Might even get the big 0. Just such a non-event.

Belgium
I love this! Its very much like a late 70's soul/R&B groove - think Heatwave, or Earth Wind and Fire. Not a great song, but nice to have a bit of this style of music in the contest, and I hope it makes the Final.

Slovenia
Opera meets disco. Bizarre combination and personally I don't think it works

Turkey
This could do must better than predicted. he's a good singer and although its not a great song, the chorus is memorable. A definite qualifier I'd say. Style wise, Justin Timberlake all the way.

Austria
After a year sitting out the contest, Austria's returnee is a Pop Idol loser singing a loud and tedious piece of guitar led pop-rock. This is the sort of thing i don;t listen to radio 1 to avoid. Horrible.

Latvia
The semi will end on this pseudo-operatic note. I think its an almost certain qualifier and certainly its very well sung, but there's just something about it which is all a bit smug and 'heard it before'



Finalists....

Bosnia and Herzegovina
This years opening song is a slow, moody, atmospheric song in the style popularised by Lane Moje and its successors. Very good singer and this will definitely pick up a clutch of Eastern votes. I think its classy and I like the musical arrangement.

Spain
A very visually appealing boy-band (fit lead singer!) and this is the best Spanish entry for years. Catchy and upbeat, but their singing style is actually very cool and that gives it a restrained feel. Like this a lot.

Ireland
This is my joint favourite. Dervish sing Irish folk music, and this is an anthemic example with a rousing chorus. If this is your bag, then you will like it - everyone I know who likes Irish music loves this, but again, its not everyone's kind of music. But its certainly mine!

Finland
The hosts have chosen a deep-voiced female singer who sounds and looks like a Gothic drag queen. The song is another one of those boring rock guitar led items which would encourage me to retune the radio. Hate it.

Lithuania
My other favourite. Its this years 'quiet song' - a gentle. drifting jazz-influenced ballad which is simply too classy for today's Eurovision. Still, at least it gives us something which will definitely be worth listening to in the Final, and the quiet songs haven't done badly in recent years (think Latvia 2005). This is the sort of music I'd listen to outside the Contest.

Greece
Ricky Martin lives - oh, that vida loca. Shameful rip off, but its jolly enough and he has snake-hips!

Sweden
I cannot express how much I hate this ghastly, revolting piece of crap. I mean, why the hell does anyone want to sound like the Sweet? Weren't they bad enough first time round? If there was any justice then this and the UK would be propping up the rest with a double zero.

France
Well, its different. Its a joke entry, I assume. I really don't like it at all. Its very 'French' but is it supposed to be parody or what? Hard to describe

Russia
Again Russia have entered one of the most commercial and contemporary songs. The problem is that this really doesn't do much for me - but then why should it as its aimed at 15 year olds? Could do very well but I wouldn't choose to listen to it again.

Germany
Germany goes jazz again - but this time its swing. having seen the singer, he is an outstandingly good performer and will certainly sell the song well. The more I hear this, the more I like it, but it is jazz, and not everyone likes jazz.....

Ukraine
This isn't music as such but actually this is quite funny. Put it like this - anything to take votes away from the UK is fine by me. If it wins that's another matter.

UK
NUL POINTS! The worst song in the contest - along with Sweden. Pathetic turd of a song for brain dead queens and babies.

Romania
Novelty song, with an interesting draw alongside two others. I haven't heard it since its selection, and it doesn't sound as bad as I remembered, but still doesn't do much for me

Armenia
A surprisingly 'straight' ballad without much hint of Eastern flavour. In a contest with so few ballads this could do well. On record, one of the best singers in the contest and its a wistful tune. One of the songs which immediately makes one wish for the return of the orchestra